Happy New Year!
I happily went to bed at 9 pm in 2018 and was awoken in the first seconds of 2019 by shouting, fireworks, and church bells! My neighbors then decided to blare music and sing from midnight until I left my house at 7:45 in the morning. It was quite the party!
Thursday I went to the girls' house in the afternoon because they had asked for me to help judge something. What I hadn't realized was that it would turn out to be a full-on, 2 hour and 45 minute, talent show/beauty pageant and one of the other tias was pretending that we were on national TV. Complete with impromptu interviews and regular ad slots. It was quite the production!
A Bolivian friend of mine came with me to church today, then we went grocery shopping and came back to my house to cook! She taught me how to make a Bolivian dish, I then taught her how to make earrings.
It's hard for me to find things to write about, life just feels so normal. I can't post good pictures of the kids that I so dearly would love to introduce you to. Writing about them doesn't do them justice. I want you to hear the inflections of their voice, to see their smiles, laugh with them, joke with them, watch them interact with each other... And I can't share all that in a blog post.
I could tell you about the woman on the corner who I have to pay to dispose of my trash, I could tell you how she always seems grumpy and tends to terrify me.
I could tell you how the baristas at the coffee shop, where I get off of my trufi after work at the girls' house, now know what I get (because I get the same thing every single time.)
I could tell you of the incredible variations of my emotions from one moment to the next, "I can't wait to be home, seven weeks feels too long." And the next minute, "I can't believe I have to leave, I'm going to miss the kids so much."
I could tell you of my fears of the unknown, where I will work, what the next year will hold...
I could tell you of my frustrations in my walk with God, I want to know Him more deeply, to find my utmost joy in being in His word and in prayer. I could tell you of my feelings of failure when I waste an hour on Netflix instead of in Scripture. I want to tell you that I wake up at 5 am to pray for two hours before I leave for work because I can't start the day without it. More often than not I sleep until 6:45 and try to get in 30 mins to an hour of a Bible time to start my day, and it tends to be distracted. I could tell you all that I want to be, all that I'm not, and all that I pretend to be- but that would probably be a waste of time and words.
I am not the point.
I am a sinner. I fail, and I do so daily. I so often wander from my Shepherd's side, in search of my own way. In His love and faithfulness, He calls me back to Himself, gathering me into His capable, nail-scarred hands. My imperfections-my failures, though numerous, do not turn Him away. He knew them before He took them upon Himself in my place on Calvary. He came to earth as the babe we celebrated just recently because He already knew of my sins, He knew that I could never save myself.
Don't get me wrong, I want to be at the point where I can say that I "glorify God and enjoy Him forever" but that 'forever' part is still coming. Christ will be sanctifying me my whole life, but He has covered me in His blood, taken my shame and punishment upon Himself. I am so far from what I want to be, what I should be. However, God has said that He will finish the good work that He has started. God is faithful even when I am not.
In all my desiring to be different, "better," I can easily lose sight of my Savior, and of glorifying His name, and I can begin to see the gospel through the lens of "self-help" instead of in worshipping Him.
I would appreciate prayers that my focus would be more fully set on Christ, even though the changes and unknowns can clamor for my attention.
I happily went to bed at 9 pm in 2018 and was awoken in the first seconds of 2019 by shouting, fireworks, and church bells! My neighbors then decided to blare music and sing from midnight until I left my house at 7:45 in the morning. It was quite the party!
Thursday I went to the girls' house in the afternoon because they had asked for me to help judge something. What I hadn't realized was that it would turn out to be a full-on, 2 hour and 45 minute, talent show/beauty pageant and one of the other tias was pretending that we were on national TV. Complete with impromptu interviews and regular ad slots. It was quite the production!
A Bolivian friend of mine came with me to church today, then we went grocery shopping and came back to my house to cook! She taught me how to make a Bolivian dish, I then taught her how to make earrings.
It's hard for me to find things to write about, life just feels so normal. I can't post good pictures of the kids that I so dearly would love to introduce you to. Writing about them doesn't do them justice. I want you to hear the inflections of their voice, to see their smiles, laugh with them, joke with them, watch them interact with each other... And I can't share all that in a blog post.
I could tell you about the woman on the corner who I have to pay to dispose of my trash, I could tell you how she always seems grumpy and tends to terrify me.
I could tell you how the baristas at the coffee shop, where I get off of my trufi after work at the girls' house, now know what I get (because I get the same thing every single time.)
I could tell you of the incredible variations of my emotions from one moment to the next, "I can't wait to be home, seven weeks feels too long." And the next minute, "I can't believe I have to leave, I'm going to miss the kids so much."
I could tell you of my fears of the unknown, where I will work, what the next year will hold...
I could tell you of my frustrations in my walk with God, I want to know Him more deeply, to find my utmost joy in being in His word and in prayer. I could tell you of my feelings of failure when I waste an hour on Netflix instead of in Scripture. I want to tell you that I wake up at 5 am to pray for two hours before I leave for work because I can't start the day without it. More often than not I sleep until 6:45 and try to get in 30 mins to an hour of a Bible time to start my day, and it tends to be distracted. I could tell you all that I want to be, all that I'm not, and all that I pretend to be- but that would probably be a waste of time and words.
I am not the point.
I am a sinner. I fail, and I do so daily. I so often wander from my Shepherd's side, in search of my own way. In His love and faithfulness, He calls me back to Himself, gathering me into His capable, nail-scarred hands. My imperfections-my failures, though numerous, do not turn Him away. He knew them before He took them upon Himself in my place on Calvary. He came to earth as the babe we celebrated just recently because He already knew of my sins, He knew that I could never save myself.
Don't get me wrong, I want to be at the point where I can say that I "glorify God and enjoy Him forever" but that 'forever' part is still coming. Christ will be sanctifying me my whole life, but He has covered me in His blood, taken my shame and punishment upon Himself. I am so far from what I want to be, what I should be. However, God has said that He will finish the good work that He has started. God is faithful even when I am not.
In all my desiring to be different, "better," I can easily lose sight of my Savior, and of glorifying His name, and I can begin to see the gospel through the lens of "self-help" instead of in worshipping Him.
I would appreciate prayers that my focus would be more fully set on Christ, even though the changes and unknowns can clamor for my attention.
"Turn your eyes upon Jesus
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace"
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