5 Weeks

"It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." 

That line has tumbled around in my mind throughout this past year as I have watched a few kids get adopted, and seen the kids that are left behind. I've seen volunteers come and go, some of them tearfully. Now, as I think of my own departure it comes to mind more frequently. 

I wonder if  I have done "what I was supposed to," I don't know the exact reason that God brought me here, maybe I never will, maybe I will see it when I return home, at least perhaps I'll see what He taught me in my time away. What I do know, is that He has given me a blessed opportunity to spend this past year with the kids. I remember being terrified to begin working with the older kids at the end of November, now I am sad to have not had more time with them.

Earlier this week, somehow a conversation came up between me, the director, and a couple of the other tias,  about my departure date. One of the tias gave me a hug and made a comment about my leaving. One of the girls, Belinda, overheard. 

"You're leaving Tia?" She asked me.

"Well, not yet, but yes, I'm going back to my country soon." 

"When?" She asked, throwing her arms around my waist. 

"The end of February," I told her.

"But you're coming back?"

"No- maybe I'll come back to visit someday, but not to live," I said, tears welling up in my eyes at the realization of that fact.

"You will come back," She said, squeezing me tighter.

Another young girl came up, "You are leaving? When?" 

I repeated my departure date.

"We still have time though!" She said cheerfully.

Belinda (still hugging me,) cut her off, "but the sad thing is that she's leaving!" 

Oh, what a mixture of emotions! At that very moment, my phone was buzzing in my pocket with a text message from my cousin, (about the same age as Belinda!) telling me that she couldn't wait for me to be back. 

I went from that to a Bible study with Kathryn, (which has been really good so far! I hope we are able to finish the book before I leave.) It is called, 'Gospel Identity' 

In addition to the Bible study, our conversation kept turning to my time here and the transition back home, so that has been really helpful and I am very thankful that she has been able to take time out of her busy schedule to spend Wednesday afternoons with me! She's been a great friend and a wonderful example this year and I will miss her when I leave. 

Next Friday will be my last day of classes at the language school, the goodbyes are beginning. 

 It was so fun to see them playing with their dinosaurs and listen to the details of their game. I felt like my mother though, because my first thought was, "It's nice to see kids making up stories and playing with toys without needing pokemon cards." 

They kept coming up to me asking, "What is this one called tia?" My knowledge of dinosaur names is limited in English, in Spanish, it is virtually non-existent! When I didn't know the names, they would then inquire regarding that specific dinosaur's eating and hunting habits. I was fairly certain that one was an herbivore and I told them that it probably ate grass, only to be corrected by a 6-year-old telling me, first that it had to eat meat since it was a dinosaur, and then when I pointed out a few aspects that made me think it didn't eat meat, he switched and said that it ate leaves. He was upset though because the dinosaurs were all fighting each other, and a leaf-eating dinosaur hardly seems a threat. After consulting with a couple of the other boys, he decided that his leaf-eating dinosaur had a dangerous tail, and thus commenced the happy battle of dinosaurs!!!

 

 My boys... I only get to see them two days a week, which means that I only have ten days left with them. :( 

 There are two girls named 'Damaris' at the girls' house, they are commonly referred to, "Damaris grande" and "Damaris pequeña." Both of them fell asleep on me earlier this week. It was actually quite relaxing, I almost joined them in dreamland!

As much as I will miss everyone here, I truly am looking forward to seeing you all at home again! 

I hope that you all have a wonderful week!

In Christ,

Susannah