Friday marked the first day of Spring here in Bolivia, (it was as well, 'the day of love,' 'friendship day,' and 'day of the student.') What does Spring weather feel like in Bolivia? Well, it means that the lovely 70 degree days are rapidly shifting into 80-degree weather with blustery afternoons, and skies that are filled with the grey whisperings of the all-too-rapidly-arriving rainy season.
On Friday, the kids got to stay home from school and play in a pool that the tias had set up on Thursday. They were so excited!!! Fabiola kept hugging me and squealing as we waited for Tia Angie to tell her that she could get in, and Raquel couldn't sit still either! Unfortunately, Fabiola confided in me later that she wished she could have played in the baby pool because the big one (2-3 feet deep) scared her. Marcella was also terrified as soon as she got into the pool, she held to the edge and wouldn't move a muscle. "I'm going to fall," she said repeatedly, close to tears. Tia Erika somehow managed to do a quick change into swimwear and hopped into the pool to ease the girls' fears. Yobani and Santiago, however, were instantly enamored with the pool and proceeded to splash and squeal with two-year-old glee the entire time!
Saturday I went over to Kathryn and Gustavo's apartment with Kayla, and Terrilyn (another missionary) came over and most of the older girls from the transition program (many of whom are also tias at the baby house) we had pizza and watched a show. I barely spoke, because I'm very timid in Spanish, thankfully Terrilyn kept the conversation going and helped to make it a more comfortable time. I think it was fun!
This morning I woke up dreading going to church, I have missed a couple Sundays as it is, my friends weren't going to be there and I still don't know any other people, I was tired, and I just didn't want to put forth the effort, and I much prefer listening to sermons online from home. I texted my dad hoping that he would say, "It's okay to take time to yourself with God." Which he kind of did, but he also helped me to see my selfishness and pointed me to Christ in it.
I realized that the verse "Do not neglect gathering together" kept going through my mind and that I really was just wanting to stay home out of selfishness. I also knew, that with the attitude I had at the moment, I would not be able to actually worship God at home. (Not that it's never okay to stay home from church, but, for me this morning it wasn't okay to stay home, and my attitude towards the church I attend was purely negative. So I, rather grumpily, got dressed and hurried to church. I walked in right at the meet and greet time, for the first time in several weeks was greeted by a lady who had introduced herself to me some weeks before. The music was an encouragement and the sermon was taught by a visiting pastor from the States on loving one another.
I was close to tears several times during the service,
1- because I'm just overly emotional in general and cry quite easily these days,
2- because I realized that I had been fighting with God about coming to worship Him, I hadn't wanted to because I was afraid of the awkwardness of being alone, but sitting in that service and singing songs of praise in the midst of the congregation, I didn't feel alone.
Once again, God's ways are better than my ways. Thankful for His faithfulness in working through my dad and in my own heart to go even though staying at home and listening to a sermon on my own would have been "easier." He filled me with His perfect joy and peace, even though I had woken up in discontent and frustration.
Psalm 40:16-17
"But may all who seek you rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation say continually, 'Great is the Lord!' As for me, I am poor and needy, but the Lord takes thought for me. You are my help and my deliverer; do not delay, O my God."
Psalm 73:28
"But for me, it is good to be near God;
I have made the Lord God my refuge,
that I may tell of all your works."
No comments:
Post a Comment