Recuerdame

This song has been stuck in my head for the past several days and has brought about some fun conversations with the kids, as well as making me tearful because it makes me think of leaving.

I will be here 20 weeks on Tuesday, 32 weeks until I come home. Somehow that sounds so very close, and I am glad... I am looking forward to coming home, I miss everyone so much. However, it also makes me sad, because the longer that I am here, the more I love these kids. 

This week started out as one of the most physically taxing and draining weeks since I've been here. It was the second week that the kids haven't had school and in addition to that, a group of volunteers were doing work on the house, therefore the kids couldn't be at the home. We spent the week walking to and from the park, making sure kids didn't run into traffic, making sure that they didn't talk to drunks, dishing out snacks and trying to maintain some sort of cleanliness for dishing out snacks, etc. By Thursday some of the kids were crying as we set out again, "I don't want to go to the park!" "I'm bored of the park!" At meal times kids would be falling asleep at the table, crying and dragging their feet as we walked home at night, plus they all are getting sick again! I was so ready for the week to be over. Wednesday afternoon the tias asked me if I was going with everyone to the park on Friday. I responded in the affirmative, slightly confused because I always work Friday afternoons anyway. I had to pay money too, I didn't understand what I was paying for... They told me the name of the park, I had never heard of it. I had classes in the morning so I would have to find it by myself and join them in the afternoon. With great trepidation, I got into my taxi Friday afternoon and embarked on what I hoped would be a successful venture. I honestly was dreading the afternoon. For one, I didn't know if I'd be able to find everyone because my phone is currently only working when I have wifi, so I had no way of contacting anyone or using maps. Two, I was worn out and expecting grumpy kids. 

Thankfully I arrived and found the group without too much trouble, the park was quite large, complete with an aquarium, paddle boats, a pool, life-size statues of horses that the kids could climb on, a train, a park, etc.  The kids were all there, along with a lot of tias and a bunch of boys from another home. 

I sat and held Santiago in my lap, he kept almost falling asleep so I gave him my phone and turned on some music so that he could have something to keep him occupied. One of the older boys came over and asked to play with it. I let him, he sat by me and played my Spanish songs over and over, Recuerdame was one of his favorites, that's when it really got stuck in my head! He also found a song called "Lava" apparently he also loves that one, "Do you have it in Spanish?" He asked excitedly. I felt bad that I had to tell him no. 

We all had a grill out, Bolivian style. A mountain of cheesy rice, salad, an unwashed potato and a giant piece of grilled meat. It was actually pretty good!!! The kids were so tired but having fun. During lunchtime I had Santiago laying against me with his eyes closed, I'd tell him to open his mouth, he'd obey, I'd give him his next bite of food and he would eat it, but the whole time he was leaning against me like a pillow and had his eyes closed. A couple other kids came to sit by me/lean against me, "Feed me, Tia!" They begged piteously... They really are plenty big enough to feed themselves, but I helped them a little. ;) 

After lunch, we walked around the park and then I sat under a tree with Fabiola and one of the directors and we chatted for a while. It was a really fun time to get to know the tias and boys from the other home better, as well as to practice Spanish!!! 

After the park, we managed to pack over 25 people into three little taxis (normally fit 4 passengers each) and we all returned to the boys home (it is a block from the baby house.) At the boys' house, everyone settled down on the couches to watch Coco. I helped the kids get their baths and get into pajamas, Jose Luis gave me a big, wet hug because I told him that I liked when he sang. (He was singing the song 'Recuerdame' with me.) It was so precious! 

I had sung the song when Pablo was crying the other day, and when I was telling him goodbye I was still singing it but just for fun. He looked at me very seriously, "I'm not crying, Tia! You are going to come back tomorrow, right?" 

Pablo also informed me that I would be going with him and his parents on a plane to his new home and if I didn't cry he would give me a piece of candy. "We can play with my dinosaurs Tia, and it's dark upstairs but we don't have to be afraid!" I said at first that I wouldn't be going with him, but then he persisted in telling me that I would be going, "You are coming with me, right Tia?" 

I didn't have the heart to convince him that I was not going to be with him in this new chapter of his life. I got tears in my eyes at the thought of having to tell him, and all of them, goodbye. 

 My friend, Kayla, and I bought the kids ice cream (it was really a popsicle) at the park, the other tias told us that it was the kids' first time having "ice cream" Some of the kids weren't quite sure what to think of it! They are not at all accustomed to cold things, so a frozen bar was a little hard for them to handle. Yobani would wrinkle up his face and stick his tongue in the air after every bite, it was so funny! 

It seems like every week I am being reminded, in some way or another, that Christ needs to be my all. He needs to hold the first place in my heart. I would appreciate prayer that I would see His love for me and recognize the magnitude of what He has done, and that I would love Him more daily, that I would have no gods before Him. I want to trust Him completely with my future and know that, no matter what it holds, my God has ordained it for His glory and my good. He is sovereign over every circumstance, over timing, over conversations, over acquaintances, over dreams and convictions. He has a purpose and a plan and He will see it to fruition. I have but to trust and obey. 

I love to dream and make plans, but in those dreaming and making plans, I need to be seeking God and putting Him first; and in whatever situation I find myself, I must be rejoicing and serving with full diligence and joy because of the God whom I serve and in whom I live and move and have my being. 

Thank you all for your prayers, emails and text messages. I love hearing from you! 

Have a joy-filled week!

In the love of Christ, 

Susannah